Sometimes I think what if... What if I wasn't consumed by the thought of food 24/7? What if I wasn't always concerned about my weight, my food addiction. I spend a lot of time looking at others and wonder if they too are consumed with the thought of food and how it can control their lives, I wonder if they too struggle with depression and anxiety even though they have so much to be grateful for in their lives.
We all have our issues, we all have our "thing" that consumes us from time to time. I had the privilege of going away for a couple days to one of our favorite vacation spots last weekend- VEGAS! I was nervous for a few reasons: Those of you who know me, know that I have a serious fear of flying and a serious irrational fear (although just a few months ago I wouldn't have called this irrational) of not fitting in the seat. I've played the scene out in my head about a million times- the flight attendant very publicly comes up to me and tells me that I need to buy another seat, or use a seat belt extender. None of this has ever happened to me, but in my mind it has. A few milestones happened in Vegas this past weekend that I thought I should share. I hit up my favorite buffet at the Wynn which I was both excited and worried about. I hoped I would be able to stop myself from making too many trips back to the buffet line and I was worried that I would choose the wrong foods. At first I didn't even look at the dessert area and then I thought, seriously Nicole? Not even look at the desserts? So I tested myself and went over to my favorite area. I took more than I should have, brought it to the table and took one bite out of each dessert I wanted to try. I'm going to call this a success. I didn't finish things that weren't amazing just because it was there and GASP, I actually left food in my plate. This is huge for me and what is even more shocking is that one of the days, I actually forgot about lunch. This is not typical at all for me, but for once I wasn't completely planning everything around my food intake. There was so much do see, do, hear that I was really not thinking about food all the time.
I did weigh in when I got back, just go keep myself honest and I lost another 2 pounds which brings me to 57 pounds and some change. I'm thankful that I made it though Thanksgiving and a vacation to my favorite spot without completely screwing everything up.
