I can't say this is an unfamiliar feeling, I've been here before; it's called failure. It's cyclical really, get on a diet; stay on diet; do well on diet; hit a road block; fail miserably; stay in said roadblock and take all that hard work and throw it in the trash. That is what happens when you have a binge eating disorder. I was doing really well, right up until we went on vacation; our cruise was wonderful and we had a fantastic time but I let the reigns go just a little there, then a little more when we got home during the holidays and now I'm in full blown bad choice mode. Every morning is a bit of the same story, I get up with the best of intentions that this will be the day I get back on the plan and do what I need to do, eat well, exercise. I start well with either some oatmeal or eggs but then I get in on what the kids leftover and then perhaps a drive through trip and since I've blown it already for the day, I continue down that awful path of eating and over eating until I feel so full I am sick to my stomach.
With all that being said, I haven't stepped back on the scale. My clothes still fit but they are tighter than they were and I can tell that I have put some weight back on. I will not be stepping on the scale any time soon though, especially since I'm one piece of bad news away from a binge fest.
I promised I would share the good, bad, ugly with you. This is ugly but I will persevere. I have a few ideas for plans to get back on track but it will take me some time. This is a very stressful time for me and my Doctoral program, that isn't helping either since I'm down to the wire with deadlines and such. I just have to keep in the back of my mind that I will get through this and I will get back on track. I did it once before, I will do it again.
