Polyester Gym Shorts

I've been away from this blog for a long time. Let me catch you up to speed. I left off at some fertility issues which were caused almost 100% by my weight at the time. I visited a fertility doctor who told me to lose the weight quickly, he then referred me to a weight loss physician who prescribed me some diet pills that gave me palpitations and made me feel completely unnatural. I decided from there I would go to another fertility Doctor at the recommendation of a friend. I loved this one. She told me that no matter my weight I deserved to complete my family. We were successful on our first try with this Doctor through IUI and now our family is complete with Izzy. I will say that pregnancy was a little different this time because I didn't go crazy and eat everything within reach. I started at about 240 and I got up to 275. I walked a lot with the support of great family and friends and I let myself have things that I was really craving. Oddly enough one of my biggest cravings was ice chips. I know, right? Super strange.
After Isabella was born I took a little time off of eating well and exercising to let my body heal, then I took a little more time and a little more. I was noticing that I was sitting all the time, just holding her and that I would eat more and more each day. I was getting out of control again as I told myself I wouldn't. The numbers on the scale didn't scare me since I had been over 300 pounds before, but I just didn't want to let myself get that far because I knew how much work it would take to get it back off.
My cousin told me about a great fitness community called GCP Mundelein and I went with her to a few classes. Now friends, if I could just tell you- I HATE to exercise. I would rather do laundry and dishes (you all know how much I like to do those things) than to exercise. BUT I did it. I went there at least 2x a week and I was hooked eventually. There was a great judge free fitness community that I found there and I am still going consistently. People are so incredibly supportive and for the first time, I feel athletic and strong. Which brings me to Tom and I deciding this was the year to cross a big one off the bucket list- a Disney Half Marathon. We registered for it and have been training since April. I'm so proud of the training process we have been able to maintain and to even be able to jog double digits in mileage is beyond my comprehension.
Nutrition wise I had been following kept, then low carb and now I'm following weight watchers. Why the diet inconsistency? Well, I have to say that if I'm following any one program for too long, I get bored, complacent and well, you know how that story ends.
Yesterday while I was running I decided to just go wherever my thoughts would take me- it's a lot of thinking at 2 and a half hours minus music. I thought about what I was wearing to run and how when I was in grade school at St. Mary, I couldn't finish the mile fitness test. It made me sad to think that I was so overweight and out of shape during my childhood. It just so happened that the day we were supposed to complete the mile around the football field, I had forgotten my gym uniform. Folks, the loaner uniform didn't fit me, so I remember running in a way too small pair of polyester shorts and a tight white shirt with navy rings around the arms and neck. It was awful, it was embarrassing, I was a sweaty mess and the only kid to not finish in the time allotted. I remember a blister forming on my thighs from my too small shorts rubbing the wrong way. My mind got to thinking about how I was now an adult, years later and I had the opportunity to take control of these things, using the memories that shaped me to be the person I am today. I could run freely and gasp even enjoy it, and I could still wear an XL and be comfortable in my own skin. Now, I will share with you that I am not perfect, I have a problem with binge eating and I always will. I suppose that what I have learned from my last blog post back 2016 until now. I do and will always be a binge eater, I compulsively think about food and sometimes it is bigger than I can be. I am working on it. I am making progress.