Is it just me or does anyone else get nervous when they wake up in the morning on weigh in day? I'm still recovering from some of the complications I experienced from my surgeries last month and I can finally say that most solids are going down well- a little too well. It was much easier to lose weight on the liquid diet my Doctors demanded of me, but once I went back on solids I felt like I had to make up for lost time. I didn't, but really only because my belly wasn't letting me do that yet. I was down 4.3 this week which makes for a total of...drum roll please ^^^^^^ 24.0 lbs. The only reason I'm hesitant to celebrate is because for the majority of this past month, I wasn't able to eat solid food, so even my Doctor told me last week that this isn't intentional weight loss so it's considered cheating. I'm not going to be that hard on myself though, I'll take it as a win and move right along.
Since I was in the hospital while we were supposed to take our family trip to Disney for my Dad's 75th- it's been rescheduled for the end of March and I am excited and nervous at the same time. Not nervous for all the food options that are so good they leave your mouth watering for days, but nervous because of the pictures. If you've ever been unhappy with your weight and you looked at yourself in a picture, you know what I'm talking about. When you go on a trip like Disney, you want to cherish those memories for a lifetime; especially when you're taking your little ones. On one hand, I am sad that I've avoided being in pictures with my kids for the past 4 years but on the other hand I feel like it would make me unhappy to see what I really look like in those pictures and in some strange way if I don't take a picture of myself looking my worst- then it's like it never happened. I just don't want my kids to pull out pictures in 20 years and say "wow, you were really heavy Mom". Then again, I don't want my kids to pull out pictures and say, "where were you Mom"?
I also have to head to DC for school this weekend for a conference- yes, I have to fly. Now for everyone who knows me, they know it's my biggest fear; even though I've done plenty of it over the years. One of those irrational fears of sorts. Part of the anxiety comes from sitting in a tight airplane seat and waiting for the flight attendant to check and see if the seat belt fits me- or God forbid if she asks me in advance if I need an extender. All things that are running through my head this week.
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