It's gettin' real

Well folks, I always felt like this unhealthy lifestyle and yoyo dieting could never get me, I was wrong. Had a follow up with the surgeon and GI today and the GI had a pretty serious come to Jesus talk with me about my health and getting it together. Apparently my liver enzymes weren't going down after both procedures I had even though that's why I kept telling myself they were elevated. Nope, it was fatty liver gone wild- turned into nonalcoholic steatohepatitis. Big long name for I let my fatty liver go too far and it turned into hepatitis which he described as inflammation and possible damage. This is aside from the whole possible panaceas issues from the pancreatitis, but I digress. I sat there across from my Doctor and made up every excuse in the book on why I let things get this far. I told him that I was once over 300 pounds and that I got myself all the way to 150 for my wedding. He told me that what I was telling him was wonderful but that I was in the danger zone now and that I needed to get my health together and make it a priority to drop weight now, take over a low fat diet, no alcohol because of the hepatitis and start exercising as much as possible. He said that I will be monitored by him for this issue as it can cause cirrhosis and all sorts of nasty things. He asked me several times if I understood what he was telling me and if I comprehended the seriousness of what he was saying to me. I kept telling him that I didn't understand because I never really drank, didn't most people equate liver disease with drinking? I wasn't getting it- or I didn't want to get it. Either way, I have no one to thank but myself and I feel a sudden sense of urgency to get my act together.

I feel like I'm the poster child for what happens when you continuously put you and your health behind everything and everyone else. I know I'm not the only one who does it either, you're all out there. The ones that eat fast food in the drive through because you only had time to make healthy meals for the kids at home. The Mom that scraps the gym so she can take the kids to target and buy a frozen themed shirt for school the next day. We're all guilty of putting ourselves last, but when is enough, enough?

This appointment was enough to send me spiraling into a gallon of chubby hubby by Ben and Jerry, but I didn't- yet that is...It's upsetting because what he didn't know is that I've lost over 19 pounds since I started my journey this time and it still isn't enough to make a dent. I'm just being honest with all of you, some days feel like a success and many days feel like failure. Wouldn't be telling the truth if I said otherwise.