Cautiously optimistic

So ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to say that I've lost the 3 pounds that I gained from vacation (plus a little more). I was watching everything I put in my mouth, counted all my points AND I worked out every single day. I don't think I've ever worked out for 7 days straight in my entire life, I would always give myself a rest day. However, I'm finding the 21 day fix rather motivational and the 30 minutes fly by. I am reminded tonight though, that this food addiction is alive and well. I went grocery shopping earlier and looked over to my right while I was waiting for check out. I saw some mediocre looking carrot cake cookies- they almost looked like whoopie pies. I can't say they are my favorite, they didn't look all that great but in that moment I contemplated throwing it all away to buy the box, sit in my car and eat them all one by one. It's sick, I know- I've worked so hard to shed the weight and I could have ruined it for myself right there in some semi-good looking carrot cake cookies. Good news is that I stayed strong and I didn't do it. I went home, had some turkey dogs, salad, skinny pop and skinny cow ice cream. I ate within my points and I even surprised myself when I noticed that I kept using the same measuring cup to make sure I'm not over-eating on the popcorn.

Yesterday I made a book on shutterfly for my parents of all the pictures we took on our vacation to Disney. At first when I saw myself in pictures, I decided not to include those pictures in the book because I didn't want to see myself that way and I didn't want anyone else to either. I was even surprised to see some of the pictures because quite honestly, I don't feel the way I look. I feel like a normal sized person, in fact I feel like a skinny person in a trapped body- something I may always struggle with. I think it's all about taking time to adjust, since when I was thin, I was always buying clothes too big and acting like a fat person in a skinny person's body. Eventually, I put all the pictures in the book because my boys and my family loves me any which way. I have to not be so selfish and learn to live with myself in the moment, in the past and the future. I need to accept that I am more than my weight problems. I was talking to one of my friends this weekend at school and I expressed my discontent with how I have to think about every damn thing I put in my mouth. I said that I envied people who could eat what they wanted when they wanted and could live their life free of worry about food all the time. It then occurred to me that almost everyone thinks about food. Skinny people for the most part are skinny because they put the work in, they eat well and make good decisions about their eating habits. Some food for thought for this gal!