It's been a while...

So, I haven't updated in a while. Last week on Monday I weighed in with a 2 pound gain, and this week with a 2.6 pound loss. It all evens out right? Not really. If I think of how I could be way ahead instead of struggling with the same numbers week after week...I can't let myself do that though, that's mean and that wouldn't be me being gentle with myself. I've had a few gains along the way, nothing major and I'm still at 28.2 pounds down. Last weekend was my little Leo's 2nd Birthday party and I had a very hard time with all the cake, cupcakes and goodies around the house. I found myself quickly eating a piece here, or a bite there when no one was looking. It's odd how I feel like I have to eat in private and that if I do, it doesn't really count because no one saw it. Problem is, I saw it, felt it, paid dearly for it when I weighed in last Monday.
I survived a luncheon at Maggianos with a whole bowl of Riggatoni D right in front of me this past weekend, so I'll call this a huge win for the week. I feel like I have come a long way, because I was able to have some (it's my favorite meal in the whole world) but I could stop myself at a certain point and I didn't eat the whole bowl myself. I could have, but I didn't. I ate more than I should have but I didn't eat to the point of making myself sick which is something I was prone to do in the past. I was able to eat a half of piece of cake instead of several pieces. It's really a work in progress, better yet, I am a work in progress.  I considered changing my weigh in day to Fridays since I am really great all week and then screw it all up on weekends, but that wouldn't give me much motivation to keep it together on the weekends, would it?
Good news is that I am feeling alive and I have quite a bit of energy everyday. I have been doing the 21 day fix for 20 days and I still can't believe I've done any workout video for that long. My close friend and I decided we would continue to do the videos but every other day instead of everyday and on our off days we are doing a jog/walk plan to get in shape for a relay sprint triathlon.
Sometimes I forget that I am worth this whole process. It is hard, it is grueling and I want to quit much of the time. I find comfort in knowing I am not the only one that feels this way. I also know that throwing in the towel isn't an option.