Weigh in Day

So, Monday was weigh in day and part of having some accountability with this blog is honesty. I decided last week when I started that I would post gains, losses and anything in between. I walked into the weight watchers center, thinking the buffalo wings, ribs, italian beef and other superbowl mishaps would have done me in. Surprisingly, I found myself with a loss of 9.6 pounds. I celebrated my first 5 pound achievement (which is actually probably the 25th time that's happened- yoyo dieter special). It felt great to have the group recognize the hard work of a loss, which is definitely a reason I keep going back to weight watchers. The only thing is, I personally haven't been able to celebrate the loss. This past week, I have experienced a myriad of emotions, most of them a little depressed because I am mourning the loss of my previous lifestyle with food. One of my nearest and dearest made me realize that today as we talked about the program. I used food as a coping mechanism, for sadness, happiness and well every other emotion imaginable. At times I felt an emptiness that I couldn't quite place but needed to become more comfortable with. This is the emptiness feeling that I dulled by the consumption of food.

I am so thankful to Tara for pointing out today that I really do need to celebrate something like this past week. I kept making excuses like I walked in to my first weigh in bloated and how it was all water weight but WHY am I making excuses to not celebrate something I worked so hard for? It's really interesting to me, because I keep thinking of how this week was a fluke and how I'm most definitely going to be a failure next week. I need to do better about staying in the moment. My friend Michelle sent me some amazing oils this week which helped keep me energized and I am just so thankful for that. It also helped me to realize that water doesn't need to be so darn dull!

For now, I'm cautiously optimistic.